My soul comes from other times, You see it in my face...

2011-01-30T23:51:00.000-08:00

2011-01-30T23:49:00.000-08:00

2011-01-30T23:47:00.000-08:00

'I am of Ireland,
And the Holy Land of Ireland,
And time runs on,' cried she.
'Come out of charity,
Come dance with me in Ireland.'

-- W. B. Yeats

2011-01-30T23:45:00.000-08:00

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

2011-01-30T23:42:00.000-08:00

Dryads

2011-01-30T23:38:00.000-08:00

2008-04-11T23:39:00.000-07:00

I should have known things were changing, but I didn’t recognize the signs. Either the transition was too smooth or I was blind. Things have been different for the past two days. Connecting with the green world, Beltaine drawing closer, ritual cleansing and re energizing and the works. Spent two lazy summer afternoons feeling the sun burn my skin and appreciating spring and summer changes for probably the first time in my life. And then there was the dead snake I found on my path - dried and shriveled. And so I sought him out.

It had been a long time, not that the time mattered but my inability to see things through definitely did. I was a little ashamed at my lack of commitment and he was perhaps a bit disappointed. He had been waiting for me to seek him out so that he could let me know and in that instant, I did. I understood. He was leaving, not fading. The powers weren’t getting dimmer and the spirit was just as strong. But the link between us was fading and it will vanish when he chooses. It almost has. He waited just long enough to bring me to Pan. The name was picked at random and was accepted and recognized even before I could reconsider my choice. But it suits him - caught somewhere between azure and cobalt, somewhat translucent with a sparkle that seems to be a permanent part of his scales -like glitter. It might be sometime before our bond strengthens but here I am at my second reawakening in a single lifetime.

I never got to call PD by any specific name, nor did I ever felt the need or desire too. And I never asked what he had been called before. Just that we fell smoothly into our roles of the 'wise old guardian' and the 'charge'. We found each other at my first awakening or rather, I found him whereas he was waiting with memories intact. I should be sad to see him go but I am not. My heart is heavier with the thought that maybe I should feel something more than just a detached acceptance. But he knows it too. I am not them anymore. I think at times he searched too hard for them in me just as I search for my memories. I haven’t found them yet probably to give myself time to make new ones. He never told me about them and I never thought to ask.

And now he is leaving, going to be a part of everything and nothing. There was another me, to whom he was connected for centuries through lifetimes- my other self's PAN. Only he knows how much I have changed through them to not be the same anymore. I am not worried about not seeing him again. I know I will, just as I know it will be when I can touch those memories again and realize they are just that - Memories. He said I wouldn’t be there to see him go. I can still go back and see him off but I don't think he would want me to. It is now just me and PAN. He is a youngling. I was told he would be the raw power to my intent and the skill to my choice. We would have to train and grow together. Quite the charmer he is. And so this Beltaine, I will toast to new beginnings.

2008-03-16T23:57:00.000-07:00

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Her Most Noble Lady Maitreyi the Corpulent of Witchampton Under Buzzard
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

magical me

2006-12-04T09:35:00.000-08:00

PINK is my new obsession !!!

2006-11-05T00:04:00.000-08:00

~Siriusly Pink!!! ~

Black was the color ... Black was the Passion .... Black was the color of desperate rebellion ... the color of mysterious revelations .... darkness wears pink while it mourns the death of Black when it faded into sophistication and conservativeness... siriusly(and that is by far the most ghisofied pun of the century!!!)Pink is the new Black..
the violent expression of sugar and spice and all that is nice ... (well ... puppy dog tails are really cute too )... really ... try being really nice to people ... nothing scares them more .... so pink is the color of the new wave of rebellion.... (y do i feel like i m chanelling a certain tonksie member of the Black family .... if falling for wolves is any indication!!!..... ) .....and as pink establishes its empire and flourishes ... from the caverns deep .(or from beyond the veil if u prefer) ... Black will be resurrected....
as it was ... so it would be ... now and always ... unto eternity ... the cycle continues ....
well i prefer to sit back and watch the cycle with the purples and greens ....

....o my gawd i m really losing it .... i need chocolate...!!!! ...

Valkyrie

2006-09-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

Lost and Forgotten

2006-09-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

Black Magic Woman ...

2006-09-20T01:54:00.000-07:00

Panchatattva

2006-09-20T01:52:00.000-07:00

name the pic contest !!!!

2006-09-20T01:49:00.000-07:00

Jivanmukta

2006-09-20T01:39:00.000-07:00

tut tut!!!

2006-09-20T01:16:00.000-07:00

Webs We Weave

2006-09-20T01:07:00.000-07:00

The Outsider

2006-09-20T01:04:00.000-07:00

Temptations

2006-09-20T00:59:00.000-07:00

I Want To Break Free

2006-09-20T00:55:00.000-07:00

i want to break free ... from wat p eople think of me ... i want to break free ... from what i would like people to think of me ... i want to break free ... from the need to have people think of me ...from the fear of nothingness that plagues my being...from the need to find a meaning... from the need to find excuses to keep living ... from the need to justify and validate my existence...

..i want to be free from the desire to break free.

2006-09-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

..sigh!!.. this makes me cry ... actuall a lot of things make me cry ... well nowadays almost nything and everything makes me wanna cry ..
..well coming bak to the topic about wat the 'this' is that makes me cry ... new stationery.. crisp pages of a new notebook ... and now ('God bless technology').. new blogspace of my own ...
.. i stare and stare at the empty space wanting to put my thoughts in words ... to create something concrete out of something that can be considered abstract ... something that sounds intelligent or deep or witty ... anything at all .. but that never happens does it?? ... the best i can do is go round and round in circles without making a point ... sorry correction ... make that spiral instead of concentric circles... spiralling down to nothing except frustration and depression of not having written a single sensible thing ...
..i cant even think of a name for my blog ... sigh!! (i seem to be doing that a lot ... it is either that or hyperventilating ... so i guess a resigned breath release would be better than a hysterical showdown)... SIGH!!! ...
... i have exhausted my supply of words for the day ... i cant even think of a good ending to the nonsense above ... so i m just going to end it ... just like that .. PERIOD!!!