It never ceases to amaze me how lucky I am to have friends who
have made my life so comfortable and beautiful.
Their love and affection never fails to overwhelm me. A simple “aap
theek ho?”, a sarcastic “I called you cause you seemed to be going psycho”, a purposely
cheesy “you don’t owe me more than what I owe you” or random howling noises
over an International call just to cheer me up are just a few examples of daily
reminders that I get to tell me I am not alone and I never will be. Friends who
still talk with a fond exasperation about all my obnoxious habits and in some
perverse way even miss them when I am not around (I know you do.. so quit pretending
you don’t :P ) and are stubbornly always
by my side are some things I will never get used to and I don’t want to either,
lest I start taking any of it for granted.
I don’t know what I
ever did to deserve all this but I am definitely not complaining. Though I
often have doubts if I give back as much
as I get, I try not to dwell on it for I don’t want guilt to mar my affections
and decide how much of myself I give to others. It wouldn’t be fair to my
friends who are what they are and love the way they do because they are just
plain and simple beautiful.
I used to say we get to places only if we have people who
out of the goodness of their hearts help us along the way. There have been many
concepts of God and the Universe that I believed in at some point only to
discard later and like all my other fellow beings, I am still at loss. But one
thing I feel with my whole heart, mind, consciousness or whatever, is that it
is these acts of love that feel like IT. “Anbe Sivam” is what Kamal Hassan says
and who am I to say otherwise.
“In those times of trouble, when you are most alone,
The memories of love will bring you home.”
-John Denver
One of my friends had something else to say about this “meeting
people”. She believes that people are put in your life for a certain reason. I
will not pretend I understand wholly what she was saying, if she meant that
there is a higher force at work or karma that pulls people towards you because
I haven’t had the chance to ask her to elaborate. But I can say one thing that
if there is a higher force at work, and if IT has even the slightest influence
on the decisions about who I meet in life and when, then I should probably quit
complaining because GOD is doing a damn good job of taking care of me by
putting these people in my life. And if there is even a tiny chance that it is
karma at work then I love u guys for always reminding me that I am not too far
gone and keeping me away from my personal hell.
“But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past
there must have been a moment of truth.
For here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should.”
there must have been a moment of truth.
For here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should.”
-Sound of Music
4 comments:
A Short poem for you
" When words dont flow
tears will fall.
When your words flow
peers will fall"
Rathna
a) yes, you prolly get more from me than u give:P b) the thing about ppl coming into ur life for a reason, i think that was richard bach/brian weiss ka gyan, but i do believe it's true... c) awwww :)
Let us not relegate friendship to a part of an eternal plan charted out for us by an external power, you may call it God. Friendships just happen, we need not look for a rationale, either it is there or not there. I reproduce what I have written elsewhere "‘True happiness cannot be pursued. It just happens. So why look for definitions and other people’s views on it. It is that moment when all other thoughts come to a standstill and you are immersed totally in that moment of joy". This also applies to friendships. Your highly emotional nature is reflected through this posting. Very well expressed and I am sure all your friends will relish reading this and make them understand you better
While I think that people are put into your life for a reason, I also believe that we choose our friends ourselves. So, applaud yourself too :) Jokes apart - thanks - and no, it is not as sappy as you warned it would be - and in these days of endless nappy changes and feedings, it makes me remember who I am - if you understand what I mean - and I know you will.
Love you a lot, always will - irrespective of the reduced trickles of phone calls and messages.
Wildcat.
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